For a long time now I've been saying "I don't wanna grow up." It's scary! Who wants to be independent and self-sufficient? I'd rather just stay a kid. I don't want to grow up. Except... I did.
Last Thursday I turned 18. I'm officially an adult. I can buy lottery tickets. I can drink alcohol in most foreign countries. I can vote. I had to call the bank to get information because my dad can't talk about my account anymore because I'm an adult. I grew up.
Except... I didn't.
What does it mean to grow up? Yah, I can do things legally now that I couldn't before, but does that make me a grown up? Legally, maybe, but not really. Age doesn't make me a grown up. Laws don't make me a grown up. Not even graduating high school and going to college makes me a grown up.
So what does?
I don't know. I look at grown ups around me and wonder how I can be like them. How can I pull my life together? How can I be mature? How can I follow God's plan better? How can I prepare myself for the real world? The problem with these questions is that no one has all the answers. Not a single grown up knows everything.
And that's scary to me! As a little kid I always thought adults knew everything! And now I find out that they don't!?
But I don't need to know everything. Because growing up isn't about meeting specific requirements like age or accomplishments or even maturity level. Growing up is about growing.
So, in the next year of my life, I want to grow more, and here are my new year's resolutions to guide me.
This year I will lead less and follow more. This year I will vaguebook less and blog more. This year I will worry less and pray more. This year I will gossip less and support more. This year I will eat less and exercise more. This year I will not hate, but love more.
I'm growing up, like it or not. It's happening. Now I have to make sure it happens for the better. I will grow in the direction God leads me, not the way the devil directs or the way I desire. I will grow up His way. And it's gonna be great.